[	mood	|	jubilant	]
[	music	|	50 cent, candy shop!	]

Turnabout~  Turnabout wasent the funnest dance.. it was pretty gay actually. All day long i had the worst stomache ache and then was late to pictures and got ready in about 5 minutes.  The dance.. ehh thought the dj was kinda gay and idk it jsut wasent as much fun as i wanted it to be.  Then after we all went to lindseys of course as always. that was fun just being with everyone watching titanic all cuddled on the couches. yup it was cute. lol. then the guys left and it was all us 14 girls just talking and shit all night long till about 5. woke up. ate donuts and came home.

Today...  Today i went to lisas and john came over.  I went with justin to get a car wash in his new car.. its soo cute! But yeah then i came back to lisas and orre and zack came over. J and justin went shopping so it was me orre zack john and lisa for a lil while, more ppl came over later for the superbowl, and we ate pizza and shit and then i went to my grandmas, the family was over there for the super bowl ((kinda gay)) then came home, took a bath and thats that! Now im listening to music and trying to figure out who gary likes!

 im out

<33

[	mood	|	crazy	]
[	music	|	mocking bird, eminem	]

.

Today--  Stayed home.. didnt have my pow done or study for history, and felt like shit so i stayed home all day.  Gave the dog a bath.. he didnt coroperate so it kinda sucked. I get my digital camera tonight! AND my rents are gone all night at some dinner thingy.. im sooo looking forward to having the house to myself all night! hehe, im so bored.

Name -- Dana Lynn
.nicknames -- Dj, Johnny, Dane

b-day-- October 14
.candles -- 14
.sign -- no clue
.sex -- gal
.stands -- 5'3 maybe
.eye color-- green
.hair color -- brown with highlights
.tattoos -- nooo
.piercings -- double ears and carlige. belly button hopfully soon again after ripping it out.. grrr.
.scars -- only 2!
.siblings-- 1...Gina
.status -- lonely!
.biggest turn on -- good teeth and polos
.biggest turn off -- flip flops and chews with mouth open
.hardest thing you've ever done -- umm... no clue

F A V O R I T E
.song -- too many
.describe -- too many
.flower -- roses
.holiday -- halloween
.animal -- dog
.food -- burbon chicken!
.fruit -- cherries!

W H I C H O N E
.coke.pepsi -- pepsi
.movie.dvd -- dvd
.hot cold-- hot ((cuter clothes))
.love.like.lust -- love
.flowers.candy -- flowers
.tall or short -- tall ina guy

F I N I S H T H E S E N T E N C E
.in the morning i am -- sleeping
.all i need is -- you baby!
.love is -- somthing hard to find but easy to lose.
.im afraid of -- suicide
.i dream about -- things that i know will never happen !
.i want -- to meet jesse mcartney
.i wish-- life wasnt so hard

.i love -- you.
.i see -- things
.i trust -- those who trust me.
.i wonder -- will i ever fall out of love
.i hate -- my mom

W H O
.makes you laugh the most -- Lindsey, Dani
.makes you smile -- Lindsey keri julia taylir andreas.. and more friends
.gives you a funny feeling -- not sure whats meant by that..
.easiest person to talk to -- prolly gary

W H O W A S T H E L A S T P E R S O N
.you talked to -- gary
.hugged -- hmm... lisa?
.you instant messaged -- andrea
.you laughed with -- dani
.kissed -- justin... : /
.got it a fight with -- mom/ dana

D O Y O U E V E R
.save aol conversations -- yup always
.cry because of someone saying something to you -- all the time
.get off the computer -- yeah? duh
.habla espanol -- no?
.wanna kill someone -- yeah haha

H A V E Y O U E V E R
.cried your way out of things -- oh yea
.cried over someone you loved -- ...yeah
.used someone -- nein
.lied to your parents -- yeah.. you could say my whole life to them would be a lie
.ran away from home -- yah twice
.got so drunk you passed out -- once that i actually passed out.
.been in love -- yes
.cried when someone died -- only know one person who has ever died, and yes i cried
.fallen for your best friend -- duno what that means but yeah
.been rejected -- yes
.rejected someone -- yes
.done something you regret -- oh yes
.smoked -- yup

A R E Y O U
.schizophrenic --no..
.obsessive compulsive -- nope
.panicy- dont think so
.anxiety --  no..
.depressed -- have been
.suicidal -- not now
.obsessed with hate -- cant say i am.. lol
.enemies -- yeah i have some.. and im prolly one to ppl
.in love -- yes.

C U R R E N T
.bff (girl or guy)-- uhh keri andreas julia lisa dani lindsey.. idk i got alot
.clothes -- jeans, light blue polo
.music -- mocking bird, eminem
.taste -- dimatap soo grape?
.annoyance -- runny nose 
.thing I ought to be doing -- my pow

---> Birthplace: wisconsin
---> Current Location: rec room...
---> Righty or Lefty: righty
---> Innie or Outtie: innie

// series two - describe
---> Your heritage: itallian, indian, french
---> The shoes you wore today: socks. no school today for me
---> Your weakness: sweetalkers.. always fall for em
---> Your perfect pizza: chesse and peporoni
---> One thing you'd like to achieve: better at guitar and singing

// series three - what is
---> Your most overused phrase on aim: lol.. brb... shit like that
---> Your thoughts first waking up: i want to stay in bed or i shoulda gone to bed earlier
---> The first feature you notice in the opposite gender: teeth...clothes
---> Your best features: dont really have any, but if i had to chose somthing id say my teeth
---> Your usual bedtime: 11
---> Your greatest memory: kinderberg..

// series four - do you
---> Smoke: no
---> Curse: yup
---> Sing well: i wish.
---> Want to go to college: yeah or beauty school
---> Like high school: yeah i love school but hate history!
---> Want to get married: yes
---> Type with your fingers on the right keys: pfff nope
---> Believe in yourself: umm...
---> Get motion sickness: nope!
---> Think you're a health freak: uhh no
---> Like thunderstorms:  during the day.. yes, at night.. no
---> Play an instrument: yea

// series five - EVER
---> Drank alcohol: hell ya!!
---> Smoke(d): yeah
---> Done a drug: ...
---> Gone to the mall: fuck yeah
---> Been on stage: yup. i love it
---> Been dumped: yeah
---> Gone skating: yup. when i was lil
---> Made homemade cookies: yup with andrea
---> Gone skinny dipping: yeah.. i miss those days!
---> Dyed your hair: yeah
---> Stolen anything: lol yea.

// series six - have you ever?
---> Been called a tease: no..
---> Gotten beaten up: lol yeah in 6th grade// i fought back and got suspended
---> Shoplifted: yup.
---> Changed who you were to fit in: not really.

// series seven - the future
---> Age you hope to be married: 25
---> Numbers and Names of Children: 2 or 3.. girls i like autumn..ryan..boys i like tave..keith idk 
---> Describe your Dream Wedding: beach would be cool...
---> What age do you want to die:  90?
---> What countr[ies]/states would you most like to visit: italy, paris, france
---> Current Hair: down straight messy

---> Current Annoyance: listening to this same damn song over and over again!
---> Current Smell: cant smell. stuffy nose
---> Current thing you ought to be doing: pow?
---> Current Desktop Picture: sum 41
---> Current Favorite bands: hawthorne heights, and the used prolly
---> Current Book: noooooo
---> Current DVD In Player: the notebook!
---> Current Worry: ahh turnabout and alota other things

Much love/// <3 ily.

[	mood	|	crushed	]
[	music	|	Mocking bird... eminem	]

YeStErDaY~

Yesterday i guess was a fine day at school. At lunch everyone was laughing at me because i was doing these weird ass faces.  Got home and was just kinda bored and lonely all night.  Jason got his computer working again, was happy about that i guess and that i could talk to him again.. yeah i know its sad that i still think about this kid 24/7 but i've tried like everything to move on... and nothings worked. But yeah... just a typical day.

ToDaY~

Hm, today...sam lindsey and I were making fun of all our old ass screenames from like in sixth grade.. *daniellemae2000*lindsey387*katie16384.... lol yeah those are some.. we all likes daniellemae2000 the best though.. sounds like a machine or somthing, lol.  Yeah lunch was gay today, of course no room at the table.  Then when i got home my sister wanted to go to the mall. No money so we phoned dad and went and picked some up, went shopping and got earings and shit for turnabout if i go.  Keri and I are pretty much the only ones without dates.. so i think we are goin together! ha. yea another gay day.

YuP...

So this is my life pretty much now days. Not on best terms with my mom or jason. Wish they were better... : /.... but i am happy that me and julia are getting closer. (( Its just like play dough... soft mushy and fun to PLAY WITH.)) lol funnyest shit in the world right there.

HmMm... What is a true nap?

CaNtLeT hIm Go12: you gotta get the blankey.
CaNtLeT hIm Go12: and lay on the couch
CaNtLeT hIm Go12: watching tv
CaNtLeT hIm Go12: now thats a true nap
CaNtLeT hIm Go12: they are fun

<3

I wont talk, i wont breathe, i wont move until you finally see, that you belong with me.

Im standing here all alone.... and i will take, you in my arms, and hold you right where you belong. Till the day my life through this i promise you.   I know this feelin wont go away.

I cant make it on my own.:.Spare me just three last words i.:.love.:.you

[	mood	|	lonely	]
[	music	|	.:.My eyes burn...Matchbook romance.:.	]

R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P.S

Have you ever been in love?Yes

With who?Jason

How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had in the past year?one that i actually cared about

Do you relate songs to your relationships?all the time

Have you ever cried about the one you love?too many times

Have or would u ever cheat on your boy/girlfriend?NO.

Would you ever kill yourself over a relationship?umm...

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Who are your current best friends?umm prolly Julia, Keri, Lindsey, Ae

Who have you been friends with longest?Dani..Andera

Who of your friends is easiest to talk too?Lindsey

Who the most fun?Dani/Keri

Whos the bitch of the group?Dana A

Whos the sweetheart of the group?Leeper

Who can you relate to the most?umm prolly... keri? lol no clue

F.A.M.I.L.Y

How many siblings? 1

Which one do you like best?Not a wide selection.. but Gina

Who do u like better? your mom or dad?DAD!

Pets?1... reggie!

Out of your whole family.. who do u like best?Lukie!

If your rents were divorced.. who would u rather live with?Father..

M.U.S.I.C

Favorite Rap song?Nuck if you buck

Favorite Love song?umm.... prolly somwhere out there.. our lady peace.. (reminds me of somone: /)

Favorite Punk song?we're all to blame.. sum 41

Favorite song ever!?Hawthorne heights.. wake up call

Does music remind you of anyone special?Yes.. that somone.

.F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

1. who are your closet friends? Lisa

2. which friend have you been friends with the longest? Julia and Dani

3. which one of your friends is the funniest? Dani and Lindsey

4. which one is the prettiest? Dani

5. who gets the best grades? katie and keri

6. whos the best at sports? hmm...

7. which one of you friends is the blondest? Leeper.

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	Taste of ink.:.The used	]

Aw.. look what lisa wrote about me..

tequliasunrise42: You turned my darkness into light;
You made everything all right.
You picked me up when I was down;
You turned my life around.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A blessing is what you are to me.

When I needed you the most, you were
There;
Even if it seemed like you didn't care.
When I didn't think I could make it
Another day.
You chased all my doubts away.
If I didn't have you. What would I be?
A treasure is what you are to me.

The world is full of many people, it's true;
But there is only one of you.
You fill my heart with love;
You're a god-sent gift from above.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
An angel is what you are to me.

Lost and alone, I will no longer be;
Because you are here with me.
There is no reason to be sad;
You've taken away all the bad.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A best friend is what you are to me!!

It was for a project...lol dont think we just write poems about eachother when we feel like it. hehe

Last time i talked to you, u were lonly and out of place, you were looking down on me, lost out of space, laying underneath the stars strung out and feeling brave, watch you float away.  Though we are, its all so far, your falling back to me, the star that i cant see, i know your out there, somwhere out there, your falling out of reach, defiing gravity, i know your out there, somwhere out there.

Your falling back to me, the star that i can see, i know your out there, somwhere out there.

*Best song* ((our lady peace, somwhere out there... thanks to me and keri, we know who sings it!))

[	mood	|	crushed	]
[	music	|	the used, taste of ink	]

Havent updated this in a long ass time. Alot has happened. Went through the whole justin thing, Yeah i really liked him but idk he was getting into other things that i didnt want to get into! Now im not sure who im into, kinda wanna stay single for a lil while and see what happens.  JuLiA... gotten in so many fights with you over the past few weeks, but last night snowbording was fun and your the only person that gets to me when we fight and i dont know why, but i love you and lets stop fighting!

.:.Someday, somehow, im gunna make it alright.:.What would you say, if i asked you not to go, to forget everyone forget everything its not over with me.:.I lost everything when your gone.:.I cant make it on my own.:.I'll wait for you, but i cant wait forever.:.

My final brethe is gone.

I love you.

[	mood	|	bouncy	]
[	music	|	Foolish games, Jewel	]

~You can lick it you can sip it u can tasete it, im talking every drip drop dont u waste it baby slurp it up its enough to fill your cup, its finger licking good and i really wish it would go down kinda slow, or even fast i am srpung once i feel your tounge! AHHH haha what does this remind u of girlies? (( k.i.n.d.e.r.b.e.r.g ))  >Julia*Rachel*Lisa*Dana*Dana*Taylir*Keri*Megan<

Latly been up to nothing special. Just got back from conditioning after class. Ran my ass off, but everyone else was lapping me and nowa, so we ran in a class room so we didnt look stupid but they saw us run in there so i felt even more dumb. This weekend went just driving around on friday night and then on saturday went shopping and then justins at night.  Then sunday was of course boring as always.                              **This weekend hopfully snowboarding!**

Yeah well ima go~ <3 you.

Theres a melody in my head and i aint stop humming it since i saw your face.:.theres a feeling i cant forget it started with u kissing me that way.:.and theres no end in sight

[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	1 step 2 step	]

.YeAhAnDiMdOnEwItHtHaT.

[	mood	|	crazy	]
[	music	|	F.U.R.B frankie	]

((I dont wanna close my eyes, i dont wanna fall asleep cause i miss you baby and i dont wanna miss a thing, cuz even when i dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do i still miss you baby and i dont wanna miss a thing))

.No you dont know what its like, when nothing feels alright, you dont know what its like to be like me.

.:.GoOdYsMaKeThEbOySjUmPoNiT.:.

~Theres a thousand words that i could say, to make you come home, seems so long when u walked away and left me alone. i remember what u said to me, you were acting so strange, maybe i was too blind to see u needed a change. was it somthing i said to make you turn away, to make u walk out and leave me cold. if i could jus find a way to make it so that u were right here right now. ive  been sittin here. cant get u off my mind. i drove myself insane wishing i could touch your face, but the truth remains your gone. i dont wanna make excuses baby, wont change the fact that ur gone. time is passing so slowly now, guess thats my life without you. now that we are apart am i still in your heart? baby why dont u see that i need you here with me.but the truth remains your gone.~

.*.PoUrSoMeSuGaRoNmE.*.

.See my days are cool without you but im hurting without you, oh my heart cant take no more i keep on running back to you.  im mad because i love you. so i stop and think that maybe, you could learn to appreciate me.. but no u didnt and i stopped running back to you.

..Well in case u failed to notice in case you failed to see. this is my heart bleeding in front of you. this is me down on my knees. these foolish games are tearing me apart. and your foolish words are breaking my heart..

...Somthing isent right, i can feel it again. sad excuses, i saw this comming still i dont know why, i let you im. i knew it all along, your so predicable...

((YoUrStiLLtHeOnE)) > EvEnThOtHeReSoMeOnEnEw<

sdfljsfweoir kljfasiur sdfkljweiofr jsdfsadf er asdf sdf ew fs  P.S. i dont know what the new backround thing is andrea was screwing around with it.. and it stayed.. hehe.

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	one last cry.	]

This weekend was one of the funnest i had in a while.. till saturday, lol. Well me dana lisa and lauren went to goodies on friday night. it was pretty fun, alota shit went down there.. so much fun. lol. couple false alarms with thinking the cops were there. we lost lisa and never found her. we watched lizzie mguire... and thats all i member.. but yeah then other shit went down later that im kinda regretting now.. (( so sorry lindsey ))  but yeha.. then saturday night we went to birds, my new bff lol, house and hung out.  that was pretty fun too.  hada rush lauren home tho! lol her parents are phyco. but i love u lauren! yeah then me and dana and eees came back to my house and slept. today was boring as hell... sat home all day.. but friday and saturday was fun as fuck... i made alota new friends! lol well yeah im out. peace.

iLoveYou.

((P.S. > Dana alioto. Christmas is december 25th... gary said so, lol

G40ozTOzeppelin: dana johnson... you can always listen to me about one thing...

G40ozTOzeppelin: no matter what anyone tells you, christmas will always be december 25th))

[	mood	|	cold	]
[	music	|	my immortal	]

What i really meant to say,
is i'm sorry for the way i am.
I never meant to be so cold

i'm sorry about all the lies,
maybe in a different light
you could see me stand on my own again, cause now i can see.

I never really wanted you to see,
the screwed up side of me that i keep,
locked inside of me so deep,
it always seems to get to me,
i never really wanted you to go,
so many things you should have known,
i guess for me there's just no hope.
I never meant to be so cold.

~~~***~~~***~~~

My WeEkEnD...

Friday night went to lisas and watched some movies.. kinda fun kinda not.  After that i came home and watched the OC since i taped it on thursday.  I fell asleep threw like half of it soo yeah im gunna have to watch it again.  Woke up saturday, took a bath, got ready went to the mall and got a ton of stuff.  Then went out to eat with ae andrea julia dana and me.  Yeah then matt picked us up and we went "driving around and out to ice cream" hehe.  Then we wiped out the snowbord and busted our shit in aes basement! hehe.. then gina called me and we went to a seniour party.. that was pretty damn fun.. got called a who...from whoville by gary.. lol and then we went driving around with mike... yeah thats all im gunna say bout that! Sunday was boring.. just went to the mall again.. picked out some shit fer my room and yeah.  That night kinda was bummed about stuff... but yeah shit happens....

*SnOwBoArDiNg SooN!*

Theres just to much that time cannot erase.

iLoveU.

Hey... im soo bored right now. im sitting at lisas.. waiting for gary to come over... lisa left me out here all alone.. shes in the shower. and we just watched a scary movie. wow i love my friends!

leave a comment if u love me!

[	mood	|	bouncy	]
[	music	|	There goes my life, kenny!	]

Ok today was a really fun day.. i busted it out in my "white tee" lol.... yeah so in spanish.. i guess my teacher desided to be the biggest bitch in the world to me.. i seriously didnt get that night befores homwork, and so i skipped parts of it insted of guessing and getting it wrong and never knowing how to do it.. so when she came around to check it i was like i didnt finish this part because i didnt get it.. shes like oh nice try chica you get 0 for the day.. i was like no i actually didnt get it, and we went on and on how she doesnt belive me and shes like accept the 0 and nice try.. i was getting really pissed off because i honestly didnt get how to do it! ahh i coulda killed her.. then the whole day she was like dana pay attention this is for  you, when we were reading outa the book.. i looked up for not even 5 seconds and looked over by julia.. and shes like chica idk who u are checking out over there but get ur head in ur book.. i was like ok pick on dana day er what?.  Then she was handing out jolly rachers to ppl who got ?'s right, and she was throwing one to somone by me.. well she chucked it and it almost hit me.. i was like what the hell u almost hit me.. shes like yea i wish.. ugh i wanted to fucking kill her! Heres my poem i made up in spanish about her. lol.

Oh shit, shes PMSin, im worried about the homwork im missin

She came to my desk and says wheres your homwork

I had to admit it, i didnt get it

Bitch hada yell, she was pist i could tell

Threw shit at me, like a green jolly

Was bouta shove it up her ass, but shes so big, im the minnow shes the bass... lol hehe (( ask julia to but it out for you somtime.. me kellie andrea and julia all made up a beat for it in chorus.. lol ))

Well im really into country music now.. thats like all i listen too now.. besides hawthorn heights too...

About the whole jason and lindsey and me thing now...

I forgave lindsey and kinda forgot about it all.. idc anymore now, im not gunna make a big deal outa it, we are WAAYY too good of friends to get in a fight over boy. ((no offense jay)) lol but yeah.. me and jason are kinda.. idk hot to explain it... but yeah... Well ima end this cuz i gots hoomwork to do!

iLoVeYoU...

Much Love!!!

[	mood	|	crushed	]
[	music	|	Ohio is for lovers.. hawthorn heights	]

How far do i have to go to make you understand, i wanna make this work so much it hurts but i just cant keep on givin, go on livin with the ways things are, so im gunna walk away, its up for you to say how far.

Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that i knew, you were the one i loved, the one thing that i try to hold on too.

I couldnt tell you, why she felt that way, she felt it everyday, no i couldnt help her, i just watch her make the same mistakes again....

Dunno where she belongs.. where she belongs

She wants to go home, but nobodys home, thats where she lies, broken inside, with no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes, broken inside.

After all u put me through, you think i despise you, but in the end, i wanna thank you, because you made me that much stronger.

When i, thought i knew you, thinking, that you were true, but i guess i, i couldnt trust, cuz ur bluff baby time is up.

Theres a chance... i could change my mind. but do u even care if i stay or leave? whats its guna be?

Yeah im sure everyone knows what happened... but other than that this weekend was was alright.  Except saturday night.. i knew somthing was gunna happen, i just didnt expect that.. and with her.. like one of my bestfriends.. like seriously she really upset me and i thought i knew her better than that. im not gunna say names or anything. and i understand she fucked up.. and shes sorry so im over it. Sunday was boring.... yeah big plans for next weekend... HAPPY BIRTHDAY AE! ((tomorrow))

I still love you....

Lindsey i love u too...

Ahh havent writtin forever...

Well last weekend was alota fun, i slept at julias on friday... and matt and jason came over and we... well yeah u all prolly know but then on saturday i slept at taylirs *noone home* .. all the girls showed up drunk.. we put keri to bed.. kicked andrea out and then everyone else went home so me taylir and leeper went up to garys house for a lil while and we hung out and played poker.. and guess who has never played it before... yes me... and guess who won!!!... yes me!   I got my season pass.. and i look high in it.. yeah well i really needa start lookin for boards.. i ordered a jeen yus and a forum.. but idk if i like em yet.  Im out..

Over and over shes wasted time
Wasting her time on people like you
and shes the trusting kind
Over and over your words ignight
How you goin to change her life
You know everything about her now
Just to control her
Its okay girl
And she believes every word you say
Its a shame girl
She would give it all to you
Its okay girl
You only give everything she needs
But its not what she needs
Still your makin her bleed

.:. Cuz its all in my head.:.
.:. I think about it over and over again.:
 
((I cant go on not loving you))

>They think im crazy for liking you... what will they say when they know i love you?<

BaBy ItS yOu.   iLoVeU.  ((jason))

Your on my mind forever and always, you never can be erased.  No matter how much i try or want too, u will always be there.  I think i love u too much, it might even be sad how much i love you.  I love u too much, i cant show it.  The only thing i can do is explain it and i really suck at that too.  It doesnt even matter how i act.  You know whats going through my head when we are together.  Theres no dout its going through yours too.  You may not even understand any of this.  But you know who you are that will.

KKK anyways.. this weekend = Gay again. 

Matts party was alright till i fucking hurt my finger and dan made it worse.. ((thansks dan!)) lol just kidding but then we made a cast and then it was all good.  And tonight i went to a hunted cornmaze.. it was 12 bucks and gay as fuck.  U just kinda walked through it.. noone scared u. Only like 3 people the whole time actually popped out.. and all of them would look at me and say i love you.. i  was like wtf this is a huge like orgy fest. lol. yeah then i came home to where i am now.  We only have 3 days of school this week ((YEAH!)) and this weekend.. girls u know whats going down ((hopfully.)) alright im out and off to bed.

Much Love! Muah!

[	mood	|	scared	]
[	music	|	Fallen, sarah	]

This weekend has been a nightmare... a total complete fucking nightmare

Friday night went to the football game and it was cold as shit... wanted to sleep at julias.. of course my mom wouldnt let me. 

Then saturday i was planning on sleeping at ajs all day but my mom found out her dad wasent going to be there and so she was fucking yelling at me all day and picked me up from the dance at like 10 and then i was planning on meeting up with the other girls.. and then she totaly fucked that up too and said i couldnt for ABSOLUTLY NO REASON! i had done nothing wrong and was perfectly happy.. and she said no.. so then i called my sister, and shes like oh well im at a party right across the street and i will bring u home.. of course what do you all think my  mom said... NO! correct. so really from hartford all the way back to germantown i was crying and screaming and my mom AND MY DAD. normally hes the good one but my mom has him wiped and hes on her side right now.  Next thing i know.. my sisters gunna be on their side too because right now shes all i got in my family to stick up for me and who loves me. i really hope she doesnt leave me...

Sunday went to the rave in the morning till about 3:30. That was actually pretty fun.. Its really scary and cool in there.  Black walls with red lightbaulbs! I loved it. some bands realllllly sucked and then again some were good.  But it was fun to go too. Addy did my hair all cool.  It was tight. when we first got there we were on wisonsin ave. a.k.a. HOOKER HEAVEN! lol we were scared because there was like no white ppl and jeffery donner had lived down the road and we thought we were gunna get raped.  Until we walked in the mcdonalds.. more of our kinda. lol.  But yeah we were scared then to go into the rave.. but it was tight we met up with brandon and ashley and devin and shit and it was tight.  Then i came home.. this is where and when all HELL broke lose like it always does.  My dad told me we needed to have a "family meeting" and i was like WTF? we never have those and i had to be at band practice.. and both parents are like no ur not going to it... and ur not being in it.. i was like fuck u... this is somthing i've been to stoaked about and happy about and ur not bout to take that away.. i dont know whats even going on with that right now.  Yeah so me and my sister against my mom and dad.  My dad goes gina do u hate ur mom.. shes silent. and says im not saying anything.. then he goes do u love ur mother.. shes silent and like wispered... yea? and then did the same to me i was silent and my mom comes and grabs my cell and i was like NO?? and i g-snatch it outa her hand and then she took it back and i like kept going after her to get it back.. and then called the COPS!?! bitch eh? and then hung up so they called back and shes like my daughters fighitng with me.. i was like mom u took my phone i want it back.. and then i come down stairs and come online and then the fucking cop is here!!! and calls my name upstairs.. my sister starts CRACKING UP and went in her room and i went in the bathroom and shes like we need to talk.. i was like no me and my parents need to talk and u dont need to be here so u can just leave.  Yeah i was being a somplete BITCH to her of course i didnt want to talk to her.. she was here for like a fucking hour and i just walked away and was liike im not talking to you have a good day.  i like eyed out her gun and i just wanted to take it and SHOOT MYSELF! ugh i waas bout to like get out a knife and go after my mom she the cop would be forced to shoot me.  I honestly do not know what to do in my life anymore.  EVERYTHING i ever wanted and that i had going for me she took that all away. and noone can help me. She gets a laugh outa making me sad and unhappy.  Thats my life for you.  im not really sure whats going to happen with me.. but if this gets ANY worse than it already is, im out.

I really hope things get better...